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 JPenney
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2005 |
| Total Posts: 7 |
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Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 12 Aug 2005 01:02 PM |
I am an adult with non verbal learning disorder and am having difficulty finding information on the web directed at the issues that concern me. I have heard many "statisics" that disturb me greatly, and I wonder if I should be seeking professional help as a preventative measure. If anyone on this network can help out it would be greatly appreciated.
As a note of interest on particular this message board - being an adult now, looking back at my youth, i see that the people who truely helped me, the people that I think of most fondly are those who just accepted the fact that I was very different, those that did not ask me to be something that I wasn't and just did their best to help me navigate the muddy waters of day to day life.... Sadly, I can not count my parents and mostly cannot count my educators among this number. Hope you all do better for the kids in your lives
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 13 Feb 2006 03:26 AM |
I was struck by your comments, both for your search for information that may be helpful to you as an adult with NLD and also related to your concerns for children with NLD. I am a clinician who is trying to work with schools and families, but I am finding it difficult. I am also interested in trying to conduct a health survey and I was wondering if you might comment on the issues you find most pressing as an adult.
In working with children, what I tend to see are varying degrees of anxiety, depression and social withdraw. But the biggest problem I have encountered is in the recognition of the disorder, particularly with educators. I also have not become proficient at locating a resource to properly make the diagnosis. I agree with your comments on acceptance and it has been my experience that the children I see do best in school, are those that are accepted for who they are.
If you wouldn't mind commenting on the areas of concern you have as an adult, I would be very interested. Thank you. |
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rhadkins
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| Joined: 17 Mar 2006 |
| Total Posts: 2 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 17 Mar 2006 08:08 PM |
I am the mom of a 19-year-old whom we believe may have NLD. I recently heard about NLD at a school faculty meeting. Not only did I recognize some characteristics in two of my students, but I immediately started seeing these things in my teenager.
I am so sad that we have just now discovered this. Our reactions to our daughter while she has been growing up have been wrong, but not because we didn't care. We thought she was being immature, lazy, hard-headed (I'm sure you've heard these all before.) We struggled with how to teach her to act like she was supposed to act, never thinking she may have a disability.
She was born with hydrocephalus, and has had several shunt repairs and a decompression for Chiari malformation. Not one single doctor, nurse, therapist that she visited suggested that we watch for the type of problems related to NLD. Had we only known.
She is now going through college rebellion because for the first time in her life she is involved with people. This should make me happy, but these happen to be people who tend to take advantage of her sharing, helpful attitude. Basically, she's gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd, but she is so happy to be part of a crowd that she can't see what's happening.
At this point, we have to get her home from college, then deal with how to pursue help with NLD. Do you have any suggestions for first steps? Who do we approach for testing? Should we explain to her what we suspect first? I hate to push her away further. It absolutely breaks my heart that some of her frustration (with us and school) could have been avoided.
Any help or suggestions will be appreciated!
Mom/Teacher in KY |
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JPenney
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2005 |
| Total Posts: 7 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 19 Mar 2006 10:57 AM |
Wow that's hard to address...
As an adult, the hardest thing to reconcile is the nature of invisible disablity. People really do not recognise that I have a disability, they may pay lip service to it, but when it comes right down to the nity grity, no body wants to believe that i can look just like everyone else and be so different.
Other than that, the challenges are the same...
Organization of my thoughts and time is the most difficult thing, though.
As a kid, my parents were willing to help me manage my time and keep me in my routines, but i don't have that anymore... so it's a struggle to keep on task and get everything done.
It still fustrates me that things which seems so easy for others are incredibly difficult for me, but i'm learning to cut myself some slack... hopefully i'll even get good at it someday soon.
If i think of anything else that might help you i'll drop a line in here...
If you have any specific questions, please post them and i'll do my best to help.
penney |
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JPenney
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2005 |
| Total Posts: 7 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 19 Mar 2006 11:14 AM |
Find a good NeuroPsychologist and go from there...
And absolutly tell her... she's an adult (weather one with a disablity or not), and deserves to know why you have these legitimate concerns... if you try to hide it from her, then you will impact on her ability to trust you.
An accurate diagnosis of any neuro deficiencies that she has will certainly help her to improve her performance in school, and make better choices about what path to take to the furture.
As for falling in with the wrong crowd and all that, sigh, what to say.
These are issues that all kids have, lessons that we all have to learn at our own pace.
It may be a difficult road, still the only thing you can do is walk beside her.
cheers and best of luck.
if i can help in any other way i certainly will
penney |
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acs20608
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| Joined: 19 Mar 2006 |
| Total Posts: 1 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 19 Mar 2006 03:25 PM |
I have a fourteen year old daughter who was diagnosed with NLD
a year ago. What was the best intervention for you?
She currently sees a speech teacher, and does some OT. I have also done some research that says the NLD can be helped by taking omega 3,6,9, as well as DHA Does anyone out there have any information on this? Also do you drive or live on your own? |
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JPenney
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2005 |
| Total Posts: 7 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 19 Mar 2006 07:01 PM |
well - i'm 32 now and was originally diagnosed with ld in 80 0r 81. the nld diagnosis came later, still there were no interventions (at least in the area that i grew up in) for this kind of diability at that time. I was basically shuffled through tutors and teachers, a fake it till you make it kind of situation... I have been doing OT for a couple of months now and am seeing good results, but i'm sure it will take a long time to sink in...
I do live on my own, but i don't drive...
I have heard nothing of the omega fatty acids helping or any nutritional supplements.... however, i'm a well trained skeptic at this point... I do live in a martime region and have always had a diet very rich in seafood (therefore rich in essential fatty acids in general and omega 3,6, and 9 particularly so) - and doubtlessly have seen more success in my life then many with my level of disablity. Of course, that may have something to do with my inability to ever quit at anything....
try just to remember that she's only different, and that's not a crime...
focus on what she acctually achieves instead of what she could have or would have or should be.
good luck with it
penney |
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rhadkins
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| Joined: 17 Mar 2006 |
| Total Posts: 2 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 20 Mar 2006 06:10 PM |
Your insight is really helpful.
Can you elaborate on why you don't drive?
My daughter drove around in our small community pretty well for over two years. Now that she's moved to a college town, she has had several car accidents (minor - no injuries, but major - to the checkbook). In almost every case, the accidents where the fault of the other person, but defensive driving could have helped. I wonder if it is more of a spatial problem, or the fact that now that she is in college, she has more people riding around with her; therefore, she has more distractions.
Thanks for your help!
rhadkins |
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JPenney
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2005 |
| Total Posts: 7 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 21 Mar 2006 06:53 AM |
I don't drive because i care about people on sidewalks,
there was a time when i drove, but spatial issues make it difficult to adjust to new driving conditions and i am just far too easily distracted...
I came to these conclusions on my own after the birth of my first child, I didn't feel it was responsible for me to drive her around, and if not her then what about everyone else?
don't know if these problems are universal or not.
I will tell you that i ALWAYS had difficulty in new cities, on new roads, when the weather changes... etc. So don't just blame her friends.
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den
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| Joined: 27 May 2006 |
| Total Posts: 1 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 12 Jun 2006 01:14 PM |
Hello
My 16 year old daughter is finally going to get tested by her school district. I firmly believe she has a NLD. Everything fits, she is text book! Questions to you...why is driving so difficult, is it spatially related? She is terrified to drive, but unfortunately she will need a car in order to go to a community college. There are no busses to get her there and I am a single parent with a full time job. What other areas have been extremely difficult for you. She has had it so rough!! I am a believer in letting people be who they are, so she feels comfortable with that part of herself, at least. However, she has been diagnosed as clinically depressed and has Generalized anxiety disorder as well. Any information would help her and me as well. She is such a wonderful person with a beautiful heart, I hate to see her so down on herself!
Thanks,
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 21 Jun 2006 11:03 PM |
I just want to say that I have never met anyone in person with NLD.
I was diagnosed in 2001. I'm 43 and only can credit the Lord God Almighty
for keeping me here. I have a few close friends who know and are accepting of me
One thing is for sure if you weren't born into money, and you have a friend, they
really love you for you and not what they can get from you.
There is such frustration with the "normal people" have no clue that
we have to work so hard at everything, even our day off.
I recently got a job with American Express, and I am so not suited for this job at all.
It is such a detailed position, and you have to do air which I can't do, I just lie and say
my computer's down, and the girl next to me gets aggervated,bringing up how many times I asked that same question. Everytime someome passes my des, they always have a comment nd
but I'm twice divorced with 2 teenage children, one who was diagnosed with
ADHD, but I believe he was misdiagnosed, but I'm out of money, and He has failed
the state standardized test called the FCat. He's already behind one grade, and
part of the problem is that some of us with this affliction are not the best at
researching. If I should ever win our lotto, that is the first thing I would do
is create awarness, if this is so common, how come I've never met anyone?
I am the only feamle I know with horrible handwriting. I was 9 before I could print!
My job requires me to write a llot. I know this too shall pass, but while we are here on
this earth, it is sooooooooo hard. I would really love to meet someone with this
invisible illness!
Does anyone know where I can get a 100% free scholarship for my son?
Help!
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 21 Jun 2006 11:14 PM |
I'm sure your daughter is a very giving person, and strives to please.
Prozac worked really well for me. I made a mistake of going off of it,
when my daughter was on alot of asthma medication, so I took myself of it, but
realize a depression medication is so vital for this disorder, it's absolutely imperative.
You sound like such a great and understanding Mother. I can tell you she is so lucky
to have you. I can't even discuss this with my mother.
Just make sure when she gets married her husband loves and accepts her.
Most people think this isn't real. They don't have it and quite frankly they don't care.
I know she's at a very tender age, I can remember.
if you would like to contact me.
my number is 305-389-3173 I would happy to talk to you.
Thanks,
K. |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 21 Jun 2006 11:32 PM |
Mr. Penny,
I feel your pain so much. You are so right, how can you look so normal but be so
different. I think about dying a lot. I do not understand why our creator made
us in this fashion, but I do believe on what the Scriptures say, "The seceret
things belong to the Lord". His ways are higher than our ways, I struggle
so much with it. At the end of my work day, I don't even have the strength
to help my kids or even talk to them sometimes, which really concerns me.
I'm just so d*mn tired of thinking all day, it;s like I just shut down.
I have 2 exhusbands and an a neighbor that say there's nothing worng with me.
God knows, if they wouldn't be so close minded!
I always wanted to do well, so I could bring this very real disorder in 2 the work
place where employers would have to be forced to educate themeselves on
this, but I don't see it happening in this lifetime.
Where do you live? I live in Miami Florida.
Hang in there, hopefully you have a great wife!
K. |
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JPenney
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2005 |
| Total Posts: 7 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 22 Jun 2006 08:31 AM |
hehe - i'm a girl, although, if i could find a great wife i'd take her in a heartbeat! I've had difficulty with the great husband bit (as you have i see). I have 2 kids too, and I live in Newfoundland, which is a little tiny province of Canada right off the east coast. I've been to Miami! Wow, it's so big...
the reward for us is that we are better then them,
but only because we try harder to understand what is different from us - or because we can see plainly that there is a difference.
it is difficult for me to explain to people...
they say, oh I do that too
or everybody experiences that...
but don't even try to appreciate that what seems so tiny to them can be so great for me..
oh everybody misplaces things sometimes...
sure. tell me that after you find your shoes in the fridge a week after you lost them. or your keys in your left hand pants pocket after a day of searching for them...
everybody, sure sometime....
me, all the time... can they get that - no.
but on the other hand, i guess it's sort of people trying to find common ground between.
you know, when i was a kid all i wanted in the world was for some one to try to understand, weather they did or not was immaterial.
now, i struggle not to hate people for seeing that i'm not really THAT different. Just because i didn't get what i wanted when i needed it most, doesn't mean that i can't take what someone's trying to give now. I don't think anyway, but i'm easily confused so don't count on me...
I have two ex-husbands, two biological parents and a whole freakin extended family. who say there's nothing wrong with me other than lazy or crazy... sigh, I tell them that my out patient rehab team (neuorlogist, neuro-psychologist, occupational therapist, recreational therapist, and physiotherapist) completely disagree and that they are small minded bigots. What else is there? I love them, they try to love me, but it's hard for them... they expected a lot from me, and i couldn't come thru for them... but i can't wish that i had anymore.
I spent a lot of time pretending there was nothing wrong with me, and it almost drove me into a grave.
Now i know that there is nothing wrong with me... I am what I am, made this way for a reason that i haven't been granted the grace to see yet. (although, sometimes i think i'm a creature designed to illuminate irony, but that may be hubris)
Real friends will try to understand, but you have to give them room not to be able to. We are all human and flawed, and the normies don't have the gift of true seeing.
When my friends ask what it's like for me, I liken it to waking up dropped in uzbekistan, with no knowledge of the language or culture or geography, no guide and not one way of being able to relate at all. |
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JPenney
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2005 |
| Total Posts: 7 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 22 Jun 2006 09:05 AM |
find a way to car pool...
driving is extremely difficult for me and gave me a lot of stress when i was still allowed to do it. I don't notice things... and i know it... so getting behind the wheel of a 2000 lbs vehical freaks me RIGHT out, i'm afraid i'll kill some one. I don't know if that's what stresses her out about it, but know that ANY added stress will make it more difficult for her to succeed... maybe there is a closer school - or something that can be worked out... here we have an advocacy society called the independant living resource center and they help me a lot in workin out these kind of things.
everything is extreamly difficult somedays... organization is a HUGE problem...
help her develop good habits in daily living... see if you can get occupational therapy for her... it'll serve her well in the future.
good luck and lotsof love for both of you.
penney |
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esierra
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| Joined: 06 Sep 2006 |
| Total Posts: 1 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 06 Sep 2006 01:37 AM |
I know the driving conversation was a long time ago, but I'm new to the site and have had concerns about my 21 year old son, who was diagnosed with NLD in 6th grade. He should own a tire store for the number of tires and rims he has damaged on his cars over the years. He's always hitting curbs and it's always on the passenger side of the car. He's also had a few accidents, usually rear-ending others in traffic, not at high speeds.
The tire/rim damaging has just been so common that I started to wonder if it were a visual-spacial issue, as he (like others) has a deficit in that area. Have you found any more information on driving and NLD and how is your daughter doing?
ESierra |
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Annie0
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| Joined: 27 Oct 2006 |
| Total Posts: 1 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 27 Oct 2006 01:33 PM |
Penney, I want to ask you about something I think you may have mentioned about your thoughts being disorganized? Can you say more about this? I have more questions as well, if you don't mind. I am 44 years old and have just been diagnosed (2 weeks ago) with nonverbal learning disorder by a Neuropsychologist. I'd love to hear from you!
Annie |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 08 Dec 2006 11:21 AM |
For tips on getting organized, visit:
http://www.allkindsofminds.org/LearningBaseCategory.aspx?categoryID=8 |
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Tiny
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2007 |
| Total Posts: 1 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 06 Jul 2007 08:37 PM |
JPenny,
Hello, my name is Brittney Long, and just like many, I found out that I have "Nonverbal Learning Disorder/Disability." I found out about this unfortunate disorder the summer after my Sophomore year of school. I was evaluated by a "Psychologist." Many of my abilities/weaknesse's combine to form NVLD. I believe that it is safe to say that my highest weakness lie within the "Visual/Spacial and Social Areas." I am an "18" yr. old soon to be a senior in high school. I too, find it to be very frustrating that other people my age find certain aspects of life to be very simple, but that with me it is usually a fight and a struggle. I am currently going through "Occupational Therapy," to see if there is something that can be done to help me with my visual skills. I am also an "18" yr. old driver, and for a person with NVLD, I feel as if I drive well; only learning to put "everything together." I get confused when I am in new places, and probably have to think "ten-times" harder when I drive. "Reading maps," "street signs," "directions," "visually knowing where I can and can NOT park in a parking lot, when the spots are slanted...etc," pose a real problem for me quite frequently. I also struggle with "test taking." I would honestly have to say that my true academic talents lie within the "Business and Education," areas. Therefore, my best subjects are "English," and "Business." "Reading Comprehension," is quite difficult for me though at times, but as you can see, "Writing," is one of my highest academic talents. I am going to be attending College, and I was wondering if you know of any specific "Graduate" Colleges/Universities that offer specialized programs, or that really focus on students that have learning disabilites, (such as NVLD)? I already have an Undergraduate College picked out, so that is why I am NOT asking for any advice on Undergraduate Studies. I am talking about, Colleges/Universities that are highly known for their quality education programs for Disabled students? It seems to be my understanding that you also have NVLD? I was also wondering what Career/Job you hold, and that being if you struggle a lot? What is your advice for me when it comes to finding a career past "Undergraduate" studies? I am a talented and unique individual who has a variety of career's of high interest, and I am interested in finding what steps can be taken for me that can lead to a very successful future? Thank You For Your Time! And God Bless You! |
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kingbif
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| Joined: 13 Dec 2007 |
| Total Posts: 1 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 13 Dec 2007 11:27 PM |
Hello: my son who is 19 has been diagnosed for years with NLD. Now that he is an adult and trying to be on his own he has had a difficult time of it. He cant hold a job. He cant function they say and fire him. He gets angry and frustrated and has fought with all of his family. I had to commit him to calm him down and get his mind right. That helped because he learned he cant hit anyone or threaten people. The real problem is that he will not admit that he has a problem and it is so frustrating and obvious to all of us. All he does is stay at home and mope around and be defensive if you try to talk and help him or be nice or whatever. Its sad as he has lot to offer and wont take any help from anyone and wont listen when you try to tell him things which he will screw up or doesnt know what to do but wont admit it. Any help or advice would be useful. He is on some meds that help with anxiety and depression but doesnt take that many times. Is there a medication that is useful for nld adults?? when is governnment and society going to recognize the silent and invisible disability that afflicts nld folks. Any groups or therapy assistance in midwest or iowa. thanks.
bill |
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eru
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 02 Jan 2008 12:33 PM |
I have never been officially diagnosed with a Nonverbal Learning diability but I know that is what I have. I had never understood why I felt so different from everybody else, why I never fit in socially and why I had problems with the simplest tasks. My realization occurred when I was taking a course called "The Exceptional Child" which was required for my teaching certification. While studying the chapter on nonverbal learning disability, I realized that I fit every criterion.
As a child, I learned to read at the age of 4 and could recite the poetry of John Milton verbatim. However, I was extremely clumsy and awkward. I never learned to ride a bike or to skate. My mother would push me to make friends and be sociable but I hated being with other children. Throughout elementary and high school I could never manage to pay attention or get my homework done. I had horrific problems with math, especially verbal problems, but since I "looked normal" and excelled in language-based courses, everyone assumed that I "just wasn't trying hard enough." I was a social outcast - I hung out with a group of girls who constantly laughed at me and I never could understand their jokes. Every step in the ladder of human life was treacherous for me, whether it be going away to college, dating, getting married, performing on a job, etc.
Being NLD is indeed like being dropped on some alien planet, with no knowledge of the culture or its rules. I feel the same way today. Although I have three master's degrees and an excellent job teaching Spanish at a well-thought of high school, I still am incapable of performing the most mundane tasks. I am hopeless in the kitchen and my cooking skills are limited to take-out. I do not have the faintest idea as to how to clean a house or do laundry. These responsiblities have fallen to my husband who complains that I never take care of these items. It also drives him crazy that I can't read maps or operate appliances such as DVDs, VCRs, etc. However, he is a disabled veteran and does not work so I am the breadwinner and he is the homemaker. I have no friends because my social skills are terrible. Not a day goes by that I don't feel isolated and scared to death. If my husband weren't around, I would be totally helpless. I wouldn't be able to take care of myself. I would like to communicate with others with this problem to feel less alienated from the world. |
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kmckaig
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| Joined: 21 Jan 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 22 Jan 2008 12:34 AM |
My daughter is 24 and was diagnosed w NLD at 22. We knew she had some sort of learning disability beginning at around middle school, but it was never diagnosed specifically until about 10 years later. She tried to go to college for 5 years...she got an AA degree, and took many other classes but her inability to comprehend the written word and then put her ideas onto the screen/paper, meant she couldn't move farther toward a degree, which was a very tough pill for her to swallow. She was interested in psychology and early childhood education. She has been unable to hold any job due to her very concrete and inflexible thinking which makes her unable to adjust appropriately and in a timely way to changing circumstances in the workplace. She has a wonderful attitude which carried her for a long while until her inability to actually perform the job as needed just caused her last employer to ask her to take her time, but that she'd need to find another job. Of course she hasn't been able to find other work. She lives at home with us. Her Neuropsychiatrist says based on current scores and manifest capability she cannot live on her own. The psychologist who tested and diagnosed her says the same. He has been a wonderful therapy resource for her...she needs to talk to someone who isn't a family member and he's the one for her. She cannot manage her time or organize her life. She dictates emails to me when she absolutely has to answer someone. I often check her voicemails on her cellphone for her and just tell her who absolutely needs an answer and delete the rest. While getting ready for the day an entire hour can go by without her knowing it...she gets more and more detailed in her morning routine so that it can take her 3 or more hours to be ready for the day.
My daughter is very bright, thinks deeply, understands and appreciates rich and quality literature and movies. However, she listens to books on tape, as reading is very difficult to do...staying focused and comprehension are very difficult. She has total integrity, is probably the most caring person I know, and has few friends, but all who know her appreciate her, and see the lovely qualities she has. Mostly those who "get" her, are older than she...she has little interest in, or comprehension of the interests of people in her age group. She finds social situations very stressful and tiring as she has difficulty knowing what is expected of her and is constantly trying to guess what is really going on, and not intrude on people's "space", "bore" them or talk too much.
We see now variations on my daughter's disability in several family members on my husband's side of the family, including his mother, a niece, and a brother and a sister. I am glad I understand this disability now to a degree, however, I regret judgments I made about her and other family members before I understood what she and they were up against.
My daughter is interested in woodworking so this last year we began to help her get a wood shop set up in our garage, and she loves spending hours there, organizing her shop, and working on learning to design and build furniture. There is a wonderful older man who has been mentoring her. It has been such a blessing to her to do something hands-on, creative, and expressive of the intelligence and artistic abilities that she has. I don't know if she'll be able to finish a project on her own (she has yet to do that), but we are watching and trying to figure out ways to help her. Her mentor has two sayings for her to work by...one-"If it isn't easy, we MAKE it easy," and two, "Perfection isn't the goal, excellence is good enough."
My daughter deserves to feel worthy, because she IS worthy. We don't know what her future holds. But we just encourage her to do the things that bring her joy, don't pay much attention to what other people's kids are doing and encourage her to be who and what she is and can be....
I wanted to say all of this to tell you that I can only imagine that many of the lovely qualities my daughter has, are also true of you. You sound like you are a person who never quits or gives up, which is exactly like my daughter. I admire the achievements you have, of having made a career for yourself that allows you to support your family, knowing what you have been, and ARE up against. I hope you (and your husband) can make peace with who you are. It isn't a FAILING to be exactly who you are.
I have encouraged my daughter to not feel that she has to apologize for her difficulties...but it has helped her to explain to people at times a little of how her NLD effects her ability to understand what is expected of her in social situations, or that time and organizing herself are just really almost impossible. Some (mature) people enjoy her as a friend, and the rest, well, they can just hang out with shallow people and my daughter's friends have the good fortune of interacting with someone who brings a lot to the friendship even though arriving on time and figuring out how to carry the conversation on her own are not her strong suits. Caring deeply, though, is, and as her mom, I am the beneficiary of that sweetness and loyalty. I'm betting you have qualities like that, because the other family members of ours with nld are/were like that. And I've heard that often, about people who have NLD. Anyway, I just came to this site, so maybe I'll see another post of yours in the future. My daughter, by the way, is great at using the microwave--to heat things, super at driving through MacDonald's, and horrible at keeping things neat and clean.
Best to you
Kmckaig
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caramour
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| Joined: 21 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 21 Aug 2008 01:28 AM |
Hi Tiny,
I am Carrie, I'm 23 and I have just finished all my testing to get my NLD technically diagnosed so I can start getting accommodations through the University I attend. I will say the the University of Arizona has a really really good Disability Resources Center and we have a Nationally renowned SALT center. The SALT center is a resource which offers tutors and instructors and similar personnel who work with you specifically to help you succeed at all aspects of college.
I am currently facing a problem with the "career" subject. Up until recently, before I knew about my NLD, I wanted to work as a veterinary pathologist. And I am still in the veterinary science undergraduate program, unfortunately, I am coming to the realization that even if I can get through the schooling part, the fact that all veterinarians, regardless of specialization, have to be competent surgeons, horrifies me. I think that me doing surgery is a VERY bad idea. I have relatively good control over my right hand but my left is only slightly better than useless, AND I can't integrate distance perception and locations of objects in space worth anything. SO, I am re-evaluating right now. Haven't come to any decisions yet.
As for jobs, I have worked as both a dog trainer and an animal nurse. As a dog trainer, I functioned pretty well, mostly because all the interactions were on my own terms, and I directed everything. And as the animal nurse... that job is intensely challenging there are 2 major problem areas I have. The first I can overcome eventually and that is there are a lot of physically technical things I need to be able to do well. And I can learn these things, I just have to practice a lot and make a routine out of them. The second problem is that I MUST work within a team, I get along well with everyone I work with, but they all heavily rely on nonverbal communication to get through the day. I frequently feel like an idiot because I know someone is trying to tell me something, but when I ask for clarification they get angry. Uck...
Driving, yes I drive, and I drive fairly okay. I have a tendency to be overly friendly with curbs (I feel for the kid in the bent rims story). I have less problems with my left right orientation and lane changes than I do with simple distance perception and getting lost easily. I have had a few close calls, but since I got into a strict routine of doing EVERYTHING by the defensive driving book, I have had very few problems. I tried to learn stick shift a few years back, and now I can finally understand why it became such a traumatic experience. |
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caramour
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| Joined: 21 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 21 Aug 2008 01:42 AM |
"As an adult, the hardest thing to reconcile is the nature of invisible disablity. People really do not recognise that I have a disability, they may pay lip service to it, but when it comes right down to the nity grity, no body wants to believe that i can look just like everyone else and be so different."
Penney,
I wish I could say what feelings this brings up. Right now I have so much difficulty with people who , even though I have told them about NLD, are completely surprised when I hit a barrier and have to remove myself from the situation. They are confused, "you should be able to do that." or "I already told you to do that." Of course they have explained things nonverbally which confused me or I don't have the motor control to restrain an animal a certain way. Anyway, that is a vent for me I suppose.
I am trying to communicate with both of my bosses about this, but they don't seem to get it. I talk to one of my office managers and told her that in effect, the right side of my brain may as well have a giant chunk missing from it, that it is essentially brain damage. And I THINK that hit home for her, she at least stopped trying to convince me that everything I saw and experienced was in my brain and I just had to find a way to retrieve it, and that I could do anything if I just tried hard enough. I was upset enough that I was close to quitting at that point because I had already talked to her about NLD and she seemed to understand the first time.
I don't know.
I am desperate for connection and conversation with other NLD'ers even if it is not to talk about NLD I just need to feel like I am not just making this stuff up. |
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trixyw
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2 |
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Re: Help For Adults With NonVerbal Learning Disorder
Posted: 30 Aug 2008 05:30 PM |
eru, Wow, I'm impressed that you have a good job teaching Spanish. That means you do have organizational skills and can make plans and follow through, and relate to your students. These are some of the things that are so hard for me. I was just informally diagnosed with nld by a counselor about a year ago at age 45. Finally, I understood what was "wrong with me". I am a teacher by training, have an M.A. and once thought I'd be teaching Spanish, but I found I hate being in front of people and feel so insecure. I really feel like I have nothing to offer to any job and I'm afraid to try anymore because I fear failure.
I relate to a lot of what you said, always feeling different, having no social life, having trouble keeping up with housework. I always had friends, but still felt alienated. Grad school was the best time for me socially and emotionally. But when I went to South America to teach English for a year, and ended up getting married there, my life took a downturn. Being in a stressful, somewhat abusive marriage and having 3 children was so challenging that I no longer had anything to give to others as friends. I ended up divorcing my kids' dad, and after 4 years of being a single mom, unemployed and dependent on my parents, I married again, thinking I'd find security. Wrong choice, bad relationship. Now I have even more stress, and more trouble with friendships. I know I made bad choices in relationships partly because I had no skills with men.
I feel alienated, too. For 16 years I have found some relational fulfillment in raising kids. Now,with the youngest being 10, they no longer need my physical care, and the demands are more emotional. So I'm feeling more need for friendship but have no idea how to go about it. I have nothing in common with my husband, so not much companionship there. We mostly fight.
I've been to many counselors over the years, mostly for depression. The last counselor was actually seeing my kids, and she got to know me that way, but because I have no insurance, I can't afford to see a good counselor for my problems. I found a life coach that specializes in people with nld or adhd, but the cost is out of my reach. I feel I am at my lowest point ever. I understand why suicide is prevalent in people with nld. I'm so tired of living this life, but I don't think I'd ever end it. I'm a Christian, so I believe every life has value. In practice, it is hard to apply this belief to my own life. I wish I could find someone who understands and could help me live a more productive and fulfilling life. |
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